This Gravity We Call 'Romance'
by Dumpfmoebel
Summary: As if being in love isn't fascinating enough itself, Haruka is haunted by a particular idea. Rated M for sex.


If he's honest with himself, there are things that surprise Haruka about Makoto, even after all of these years of friendship. He never knew, for example, that he presses his legs together like an embarrassed school girl when his neck is being slightly nibbled, or that he reads cheesy short stories on the internet sometimes, or that he seems to be unable to remember every instance of waking up at night and leaning in for a kiss when he's confronted with it in the morning.

He doesn't _act_ like it's new territory for him, because Makoto is at his best when he isn't aware of the little things about him and just spontaneously living his days, as impulsively as his responsible nature allows. And it surely also interests him to find out about what makes the older boy's cock, hard and heavy, twitch in his hands, having only just learned how warm and silky it is and how Makoto's quickly moving hips ripple the surface of the bath water, because there are things that surprise Haruka about _himself_. He has never spent nights staring at the ceiling before, at least not with his body feeling hot and tense, the same sensation that runs through him when Makoto moans into his shoulder or his green eyes are fixed on his lips hazily, a feeling that is so well-known yet so unknown to him.

In that regard, he is probably different from Makoto. There is some strange kind of experience to his reactions when he's touched, to the rhythm of his grip when he touches Haruka, and he didn't seem so… _lost_ when he first climaxed during that encounter in the tub.

Haruka vividly recalls the two evenings later when Makoto shyly returned the favor, and the overwhelming force of something that had so far only been an uninteresting physical reaction glossed over awkwardly in a biology textbook. He has never been focused on sex at all, maybe that's strange for a boy his age – that is at least what Nagisa would say if he knew, and what does Nagisa _not_ know when it comes to things like these? – but Haruka is often reminded that he is not a very usual person.

It's nothing he has to be, or wants to. But maybe he's becoming one, with his thoughts ending up clouded with memories of Makoto peering at him, his cheek pressed against his hip bone.

It makes playing games complicated. They're leaning against each other, elbows knocking together whenever Makoto's arm jerks, trying to balance his virtual vehicle, and every time he apologizes hurriedly, driving completely off the street while he presses a kiss onto Haruka's hair.

Not complicated because he wants a fair match. Makoto often let him win when they were still kids. It's complicated because he tilts his head to meet those lips and hears his car crash into some barrier, and the happy sigh that tickles against his mouth is enough to make him set his controller down and pull his boyfriend's large head closer.

There it is again, the kind of look Makoto shoots at him in situations like this, full of timid excitement, his breath stopping for a fraction of a second as he almost says something. Something out of a repertoire of phrases he might have pieced together months ago, just for a situation like this. Whenever Haruka pulls back to catch his breath, Makoto's face says: "I've been dreaming of this for such a long time." He wonders if there've been naughty daydreams, too, and things to accompany those. Haruka has woken up with soiled shorts several times, but other than that, there has never really been any urge like the one that awakens inside him with every look at Makoto's barely hidden arousal now.

"Hey, Makoto", his voice buzzes in his chest, that's how close they shifted to each other, they're outright squeezed together, "have you ever touched yourself?"

The pink of modest anticipation on Makoto's cheeks retreats, giving way to an ashamed scarlet. "H-Haru?! What…"

"I never have. Have you? I'm curious about what it's like."

"That's not something… you can just explain…"

"So you have?"

Makoto stares at Haruka's knees. "…Yes."

"So, what's it like?"

"As I said, it's not really explainable…"

"How do you do it?" Haruka straddles the other boy's lap, trying to read information out of his expression.

"…Just… normally…"

"Normally?"

"Well… like any other boy…!"

It's obvious Makoto is getting uncomfortable with his words, and Haruka decides to leave him alone for now. "Can _I_ touch you?"

"Uhn." Makoto nods, regaining his smile.

The upbeat music of the game menu accompanies the rustling of the sheet they pull over themselves so they can act like they are asleep in case the twins barge in, and Haruka fantasizes about Makoto rubbing his feet over the linty fitted sheet in pleasure all by himself.

* * *

The swim club goes out for karaoke after practice, celebrating their last successful training before summer break will give them all permission to slack off. Nagisa is basically vibrating, sucking his milkshake in so quickly it might just come out of his nostrils again, flipping the pages of the song list.

"Say, what are you all doing for the holidays?", he queries while his restless legs kick against Rei's shins. "I'm going to Taiwan with my family! I already can't sleep because I'm looking forward to it so much…! But it's also a bit dumb, because I'll have to share a room with one of my sisters."

"Still, Taiwan is really interesting", Gou sighs enviously. "We're just going to Nagano… in summer! Just because Nii-chan wants to dreamily stare at Aqua Wing Arena… I can't believe it…"

"Nagano is still cool! You should be thankful, because Rei-chan has to stay home all summer!"

"Eeh? Why's that?"

Rei looks a little like he might cry a single tear any second. "It's hard for my parents to go on vacation during this busy time, and I want to work hard for school. It is regrettable, yes, but I will not complain!"

"Liar! You told me you're going to be super lonely without me!"

"Th-that's not what I said back then at all!"

"Whatever!" Nagisa claps his hands. "I wanna sing now! Rei-chan, can you turn on _I Can Take Off My Panties_?"

"No, I cannot! Excluding persons from the conversation is very rude."

Haruka sips his soda, letting Makoto talk for the both of them.

"Ah, it's alright, we're not doing anything big for the holidays… Just a family camping trip to the south… Nagisa, you can start singing if you want to."

"Your families are going together?", Gou asks quietly while Nagisa gets ready for shouting into the microphone.

"Well, it's my parents, siblings, Haru and me…"

The first beats of the music shatter everyone's eardrums, and Haruka is strangely satisfied by the expression of realization on the girl's face.

Family.

Makoto is basically forced to do the next performance, but his voice sounds small, and it's so cute that later, Haruka can't stop kissing him goodbye on his doorstep.

* * *

A few night later, it's there again – the ceiling that seems too narrow for all of the heat that collects beneath Haruka's blanket, even when he uncovers himself and slides off the mattress to get a drink. The whole house seems to be filled with scorching steam that burns on his almost entirely nude skin.

Paradoxically, he wishes that Makoto was sharing his bed with him, even though his room usually warms up a lot in the afternoon, even though his body was probably designed to feel like a kotatsu covering one's lap, almost snuggly despite its muscular firmness.

Haruka doubts someone is roaming the streets past midnight, so he pushes his door open in nothing but a pair of shorts – he'd love to swim now, but Makoto has told him often enough not to do so when sleepy, and he probably has a point. A cool bath in a few minutes will have to do, but first, the boy needs some fresh air. He walks over to the stairs leading uphill and sits down, just to stare at the road, false anticipation of a nightly walk over to his best friend's house tingling in his chest.

Makoto sweats easily, so his sheets are probably damp, and he'd apologize for that if Haruka crept beneath them, apologize also for the stickiness of his skin until fresh wetness forms droplets on his flushed chest. It will probably be worse inside the plastic tent they are going to share in a week. They've been camping in summer before, and August seems to be getting hotter each year.

It's time for the bath now.

When Haruka pulls down his shorts, tub steadily filling, he sighs. _So that's why I've been sweating._

It also kind of explains why Makoto's company seems so appealing right now.

Earlier this year, he would've just stepped into the cold water and waited for his erection to disappear – no, rather than that, he would've just let it be. Physical reactions like that have never really bothered him, as he knew that ignoring them wouldn't harm him like not reacting to hunger or tiredness would. But now, after leaning back from turning off the faucet, he eyes it with interest, reddened and thick and blurred by the surface of his makeshift pool.

"_Just… normally…"_

Haruka isn't stupid; he knows how this thing normally works. But when he imagines Makoto, he wants to be able to picture every detail, every movement he particularly likes, spots he grazes to feel especially good.

It might be a mixture of how he strokes Haruka and how he enjoys being touched, a light grip because he is sensitive, no pulling on the skin because that makes him uneasy.

Well, _Haruka_ enjoys that. Thinking of the sensation of Makoto's hand rubbing him, he wouldn't be surprised if the water started boiling with him inside. It's a strange feeling, and somehow he knows that from now on, going back to sleep when hard will be impossible.

His hand on himself looks awkward, so he closes his eyes and imagines Makoto. It doesn't quite add up, his fingers are too cold, too slim and not calloused enough, but it's at least sufficient to think of his concentrated face, his Adam's apple bobbing when he swallows thickly, his shaky breaths when he knows Haruka is getting close.

Even though all of these things are missing, Haruka finds his toes curling, because it doesn't feel bad at all, not with the knowledge Makoto has done the same, maybe so overcome by his desire he couldn't bear not to –

The bathwater takes a while to still, but Haruka doesn't wait for that before he climbs out. It's dirty now, anyway, and his body feels relieved and worn out.

The want to be hugged by Makoto doesn't die down, though.

* * *

Temperatures don't sink over the course of the week, so Rin cusses about the weather every five seconds, wiping his forehead almost exaggeratedly.

"How the hell are you not sweating? I think if you don't sweat in this heat you might die from it!"

Haruka shrugs. "I don't sweat much. And I swam earlier."

"That doesn't make any difference, I step out on the shower and I'm instantly sweaty again. And I thought I'd finally have some peace from this shit after all those Australian summers."

From what he's heard, this hardly compares to Australian summers and Rin just generally dislikes heat, but there's probably no arguing.

The mackerel fillet hisses inside the frying pan.

"Goddammit, you really can't cook anything else? I thought Gou was exaggerating."

"I can cook other things. But mackerel is the best."

"…Whatever. You're never gonna be more than an okay wife, but whatever."

Haruka flips the piece of fish around, wondering if Rin knows.

Asking won't hurt.

"Have Nagisa or Rei told you?"

"Told me what? Don't tell me you mean the… fuck, I was so close to forgetting that image."

"No, I mean, about Makoto."

"Huh? What's with Makoto?" Rin seems to have sat up rapidly, judging by the sounds behind Haruka's back. "Don't tell me he's in trouble or something."

"No, he's fine." The dish seems to be ready, so he lets it slide onto a plate and throws the other fillet into the oily pan. "We're together."

For a few seconds, only loud sizzling fills Haruka's ears. Then, Rin, starts shouting (and his voice cracks a little during that): "What, you mean, like, dating?!"

After he clears his throat and no answer comes, he only sounds mildly disbelieving. "Well, no, shit, Nagisa hasn't told me _that_. For how long?"

"Forever, I think."

"NO! I meant how long you have been – I hate you, that was so cheesy, I can't believe it!"

"Two months."

Due to the saucepan and grease already having heated up, the second portion of mackerel is done more quickly. Setting the meals down on the table, Haruka can now see how flustered Rin seems to be.

"Are you that surprised?"

"I'm not! It's just weird, kinda, thinking of you doing stuff like… I don't know, kissing…"

"You're saying that as if you mean something different. Let's eat…"

"Let's eat. Wait, what do you mean by 'different'?!"

Usually Haruka prefers a more smoky aroma, but this fried mackerel variation is quite tasty too.

"Oi, that wasn't a rhetorical question!", Rin barks, face red as a macaque's (quite fitting for his upcoming Nagano trip). Haruka wonders if he's embarrassed or just suffering from the climate. Either way, it's impossible he's truly unaware of the implications, but his childishly annoyed expression is a comfortable repayment for all of the depressed and furious ones they all had to endure for a while.

"Sex, or things like that."

As expected, he goes through the roof. "Y-you can't just say it bluntly like that, dumbass! I hope Makoto teaches you some damn manners!" With a sigh, he flops backwards, his lunch still untouched. "I can't believe it. Even _you're_ dating someone. Who isn't a pool. I can't fucking believe it."

_Is it really that strange of a concept?_

Of course, there's no answer, because Makoto isn't here to read his thoughts aloud. Haruka misses him, although it's been just a few days and they'll meet up again tomorrow to spend the last night at the Tachibana house until it's time to grab their tents and set off. Talking to Rin is entertaining, but not quite the same. There are no out-of-context kisses, no conversations without words.

_Since when do I think like that? It probably can't be helped._

Has Makoto touched himself because they couldn't have sleepovers?

"Stop staring into nothing, that's creepy."

Haruka blinks, the cute fantasy inside his head vanishing with an almost audible poof, and frowns.

"What?!", Rin gnarls.

"Eat your mackerel."

* * *

Makoto is really sweating a lot, but that doesn't keep him from carrying the twins into their beds. "It's eight, and we need to get up early tomorrow to pack the rest of our things, so you should get a good amount of sleep."

"But I'm not tired at all!", Ran protests, followed by a yawn, while her brother has already collapsed on his pillow. "I can still play some more…"

"You can't, you just fell asleep on my lap", Haruka retorts.

"Nnnnnn… but…."

"No buts. Go to sleep."

She rubs her eyes in resignation. "Fine. Good night, Onii-chan. Good night, Haru-chan."

"Good night, Ran." Makoto kisses her forehead, making her chuckle happily before she closes her eyes. She's in the land of dreams before Haruka can answer, so the boys shut the door carefully.

"Isn't it great? That we're leaving tomorrow, I mean. I've been looking forward to it, I mean."

"Me too." Makoto's bedsprings always squeak a little when Haruka plops down on the mattress, and rattle when the two boys get comfortable on it when only the small desk lamp is on.

"Ahh, what an exhausting week… Was yours nice?"

"Yeah. Rin came over. I told him."

"Told him what?"

"About you and me."

"Really?! How did he react? He mailed me this morning and didn't say a word…"

"He wasn't bothered."

"Well, it would've been sad if he had been bothered… But I'm not surprised he isn't."

Of course Makoto isn't surprised. He always expects the best from others, especially from the ones he treasures, after all. And he definitely holds Rin dear. Even if it's just because he knows Haruka values his company.

In the half-darkness, Makoto's silhouette seems so seperated from the background, falling right into Haruka's sight, and his chest glistens as if he was melting. Now that the air-con has been turned off, it's especially muggy inside the west-facing room.

Haruka remembers the other night, his solo tryst in the bathtub, and curious arousal makes its way into his lower body once more.

"On Sunday", he murmurs, savoring the way Makoto's eyes follow the movement of his lips, "at night, I touched myself, you know."

"…Eh?!"

"I thought of you and couldn't sleep."

It's hard to tell if Makoto is flattered or flustered in the dim light. "Eh… Ah… Haru, that's… I don't know what to say…"

_Is he uncomfortable?_

"I-I'm not uncomfortable! It's just that… hearing that makes me feel kind of…" Green eyes wander around, unsure of where to look. "…lewd…"

If Haruka didn't feel like he might never get any rest without his wish for knowledge about private, lonesome moments fulfilled, he would just roll over now, sit on top of Makoto's damp body and tease him, rub his chest until he's panting and softly pushing his hips up – and just the image is tempting, so Haruka talks quickly.

"It's not lewd. It was nice, but I keep thinking about you doing it." It's slightly painful pressure against his crotch, but he rolls onto his stomach. "I want to know about it."

"Well… I would tell you, Haru… even though it's probably weird… but I don't know what to say…" Makoto scratches his nose. "I'm sorry… I'm bad at talking about these things…"

"Then maybe you can show me?" _If you want to, and it's not a hassle for you._

"Sh-show?"

"Yes. I'll do it too."

Makoto gulps when Haruka turns onto his back again and pushes down his pants nonchalantly, starting with already rough jerking movements, closer than he thought he was.

"…Alright… I'll…"

There's fidgeting and fumbling, but in the end, Makoto is holding his own cock, twisting his head so he can still watch Haruka while beginning to stroke slowly.

It becomes unhandy pretty quickly. Stilling his hand, Haruka scrambles onto his knees and straddles Makoto, gazing deep into his eyes. Even without touching, it's intimate, something the other boy appears to sense too as he squirms and gives himself a light squeeze.

"Haru…"

The whisper sends sparks down Haruka's spine that come to a tingly rest in his legs. More follow, how couldn't they, with Makoto moaning softly beneath him, right hand teasing himself (that grip is light because he's sensitive, and there's no pulling on the skin because that makes him uneasy) and left hand covering his mouth – has he perhaps tried to lower his own volume with this, during nights where the walls had ears because there was no slow breathing next to him drowning out sound?

"Makoto…!" _You're cute, Makoto… My heart is beating fast, it's strange…_

"Nnh… love you, Haru…" It's muffled by his palm, but Haruka understands every syllable that comes seemingly out of nowhere and is yet based on so much.

"Me too… I love Makoto…"

"Ahh…"

_It feels good_, Haruka wants to say, but that is probably stupid considering it's his own fingers that are slowly bringing him to climax, but then again, it's seeing Makoto like this that is so incredibly and weirdly pleasurable, and the other way around it's probably the same, because Makoto wipes his lips and tries to speak but only chokes on his own soft whine and the saliva in the corner of his attempted smile.

His voice has Haruka hissing, almost tumbling over the edge, but instead, Makoto falls first, fingers catching his own seed, something Haruka fails to do because his orgasm takes him by physical surprise (not mental – how could he have resisted this view, this impression), and almost in a haze, almost outside his body, he watches his come spurt onto Makoto's abs, his borderline obscene and yet so pure satisfaction with being in this exact position, and the sweetness still aches after his muscles relax and he becomes aware of his sweat-sticky thighs and summer rain pelting down, accompanied by deep thunder in the distance.

"Oh", he states flatly, even his vocal chords feeling spent. "Sorry."

"No, it's alright… I don't mind."

Makoto isn't in a hurry to get himself cleaned up. Instead, he looks almost grateful, as if he was thanking Haruka for giving him the chance to make him feel good, and for being able to experience something he has dreamed for a long time.

* * *

Just as he's done with setting up the tent, Haruka's phone beeps.

_Okay, Haru, don't hate me for asking this because it's fucking embarrassing for both of us, but Nagisa keeps mailing me being a little shit about it, like 'you're his best friend, if anyone can find out, it's Rinrin! (~ °3°)~', so, have you and Makoto done it or something? Fuck, I think I'm gonna burn my phone because of this message I HATE THIS KID_

Makoto, perspiration making its way down his temples and neck, peeks out of their fabric habitat. "Is everything alright?", he asks, nodding at the way Haruka is gawking at the screen, and even though the grass of the campsite is a little trampled and definitely dry, it complements the color of his shining gaze.

Haruka shoots a glance at the twins before allowing himself to smile. "Yeah. Just greetings from Rin."

* * *

**A/N: **The title is a line out of "MAD HEAD LOVE" by Kenshi Yonezu, the English wording taken from vgperson's translation.


End file.
